Once while at a party, I spotted a fellow surrounded by a fan club of avid listeners. The chap was smiling, gesticulating, and obviously enthralling his audience. I went over to hearken to this fascinating speaker. I joined his throng of admirers and eavesdropped for a minute or two. Suddenly, it dawned on me: the fellow was saying the most banal things! His script was dull, dull, dull. Ah, but he was delivering his prosaic observations with such passion, and therefore, he held the group spellbound. It convinced me that it’s not all what you say, it’s how you say it.
I am often asked this question, and I give them the same answer a woman who once worked in my office always gave me. Dottie often stayed at her desk to work through lunch. Sometimes, as I was leaving for the sandwich shop, I’d ask her, “Hey Dottie, what can I bring you back for lunch?”
Dottie, trying to be obliging, would say, “Oh anything is fine with me.”
“No, Dottie!” I wanted to scream. “Tell me what you want. Ham ’n’ cheese on rye? Bologna on whole wheat, hold the mayo? Peanut butter ’n’ jelly with sliced bananas? Be specific. ‘Anything’ is a hassle.”
Frustrating though it may be, my answer to the opening-line question is “Anything!” because almost anything you say really is OK—as long as it puts people at ease and sounds passionate.
How do you put people at ease? By convincing them they are OK and that the two of you are similar. When you do that, you break down walls of fear, suspicion, and mistrust.
I am often asked this question, and I give them the same answer a woman who once worked in my office always gave me. Dottie often stayed at her desk to work through lunch. Sometimes, as I was leaving for the sandwich shop, I’d ask her, “Hey Dottie, what can I bring you back for lunch?”
Dottie, trying to be obliging, would say, “Oh anything is fine with me.”
“No, Dottie!” I wanted to scream. “Tell me what you want. Ham ’n’ cheese on rye? Bologna on whole wheat, hold the mayo? Peanut butter ’n’ jelly with sliced bananas? Be specific. ‘Anything’ is a hassle.”
Frustrating though it may be, my answer to the opening-line question is “Anything!” because almost anything you say really is OK—as long as it puts people at ease and sounds passionate.
How do you put people at ease? By convincing them they are OK and that the two of you are similar. When you do that, you break down walls of fear, suspicion, and mistrust.
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