The Right Way to Find Out

So how do you find out what someone does for a living? (I thought you’d never ask.) You simply practice the following eight words. All together now: “How . . . do . . . you . . . spend . . . most . . . of . . . your. . . time?”

“How do you spend most of your time?” is the gracious way to let a cadaver cutter, a tax collector, or a capsized employee off the hook. It’s the way to reinforce an accomplished mother’s choice. It’s the way to assure a spiritual soul you see his or her inner beauty. It’s a way to suggest to a swell that you reside on Easy Street, too.

Now, suppose you’ve just made the acquaintance of someone who does like to talk about his or her work? Asking, “How do you spend most of your time?” also opens the door for workaholics to spout off, “Oh golly,” they mock moan, “I just spend all my time working.” That, of course, is your invitation to grill them for details. (Then they’ll talk your ear off.) Yet the new wording of your question gives those who are somewhere between “at leisure” and “work addicted” the choice of telling you about their job or not. Finally, asking “How do you spend most of your time?” instead of “And what do you do?” gives you your big cat stripes right off.