It is not necessary, of course, to stay with mundane remarks. If you find your company displays cleverness or wit, you match that. The conversation then escalates naturally, compatibly. Don’t rush it or, like the Mensans, you seem like you’re showing off. The bottom line on your first words is to have the courage of your own triteness. Because, remember, people tune in to your tone more than your text.
Technique #11
Prosaic with Passion
Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80 percent of your listener’s impression has nothing to do with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound exciting.
“Anything, Except Liverwurst!”
Back to Dottie waiting for her sandwich at her desk. Sometimes as I walked out the door scratching my head wondering what to bring her, she’d call after me, “Anything, except liverwurst, that is.” Thanks, Dottie, that’s a little bit of help.
Here’s my “anything, except liverwurst” on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint— BLAM—people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance’s 100 percent sampling of you so far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they
know? If your first comment is a complaint, you’re a griper. If your first words are rude, you’re a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you’re a stinker. Open and shut.
Other than these downers, anything goes. Ask them where they’re from, how they know the host of the party, where they bought the lovely suit they’re wearing—or hundreds of etceteras. The trick is to ask your prosaic question with passion to get the other person talking.
Still feel a bit shaky on making the approach to strangers? Let’s take a quick detour on our road to meaningful communicating. I’ll give you three quickie techniques to meet people at parties— then nine more to make small talk not so small.
Technique #11
Prosaic with Passion
Worried about your first words? Fear not, because 80 percent of your listener’s impression has nothing to do with your words anyway. Almost anything you say at first is fine. No matter how prosaic the text, an empathetic mood, a positive demeanor, and passionate delivery make you sound exciting.
“Anything, Except Liverwurst!”
Back to Dottie waiting for her sandwich at her desk. Sometimes as I walked out the door scratching my head wondering what to bring her, she’d call after me, “Anything, except liverwurst, that is.” Thanks, Dottie, that’s a little bit of help.
Here’s my “anything, except liverwurst” on small talk. Anything you say is fine as long as it is not complaining, rude, or unpleasant. If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint— BLAM—people label you a complainer. Why? Because that complaint is your new acquaintance’s 100 percent sampling of you so far. You could be the happiest Pollyanna ever, but how will they
know? If your first comment is a complaint, you’re a griper. If your first words are rude, you’re a creep. If your first words are unpleasant, you’re a stinker. Open and shut.
Other than these downers, anything goes. Ask them where they’re from, how they know the host of the party, where they bought the lovely suit they’re wearing—or hundreds of etceteras. The trick is to ask your prosaic question with passion to get the other person talking.
Still feel a bit shaky on making the approach to strangers? Let’s take a quick detour on our road to meaningful communicating. I’ll give you three quickie techniques to meet people at parties— then nine more to make small talk not so small.
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