It is important to help “newlymets” through their first nervous moments.
“Susan, I’d like you to meet John Smith. John, this is Susan Jones.” Duh, what do you expect John and Susan to say?
“Smith? Umm, that’s S-M-I-T-H, isn’t it?”
“Uh, er, golly, Susan, well, now, there’s an interesting name.”
Nice-try-forget-it. Don’t blame John or Susan for being less than scintillating. The fault lies with the person who introduced the two the way most people introduce their friends to each other—with naked names. They cast out a line with no bait for people to sink their teeth into.
Big winners may not talk a lot, but conversation never dies unwillingly in their midst. They make sure of it with techniques like “Never the Naked Introduction.” When they introduce people, they buy an insurance policy on the conversation with a few simple add-ons: “Susan, I’d like you to meet John. John has a wonderful boat we took a trip on last summer. John, this is Susan Smith. Susan is editor in chief of Shoestring Gourmet magazine.”
Padding the introduction gives Susan the opportunity to ask what kind of boat John has or where the group went. It gives John an opening to discuss his love of writing. Or of cooking. Or of food. The conversation can then naturally expand to travel in general, life on boats, past vacations, favorite recipes, restaurants, budgets, diets, magazines, editorial policy—to infinity.
Technique #17
Never the Naked Introduction
When introducing people, don’t throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you’re free to stay or float on to the next networking opportunity.
If you’re not comfortable mentioning someone’s job during the introduction, mention their hobby or even a talent. The other day at a gathering, the hostess introduced a man named Gilbert. She said, “Leil, I’d like you to meet Gilbert. Gilbert’s gift is sculpting. He makes beautiful wax carvings.” I remember thinking, “Gift—now that’s a lovely way to introduce someone and induce conversation.”
Armed with these two personality enhancers, three conversation igniters, and three small extenders, it is time to take a step up the communications ladder. Let us now rise from small talk and seek the path to more meaningful dialogue. The next technique is guaranteed to make the exchange engrossing for your conversation partner.
“Susan, I’d like you to meet John Smith. John, this is Susan Jones.” Duh, what do you expect John and Susan to say?
“Smith? Umm, that’s S-M-I-T-H, isn’t it?”
“Uh, er, golly, Susan, well, now, there’s an interesting name.”
Nice-try-forget-it. Don’t blame John or Susan for being less than scintillating. The fault lies with the person who introduced the two the way most people introduce their friends to each other—with naked names. They cast out a line with no bait for people to sink their teeth into.
Big winners may not talk a lot, but conversation never dies unwillingly in their midst. They make sure of it with techniques like “Never the Naked Introduction.” When they introduce people, they buy an insurance policy on the conversation with a few simple add-ons: “Susan, I’d like you to meet John. John has a wonderful boat we took a trip on last summer. John, this is Susan Smith. Susan is editor in chief of Shoestring Gourmet magazine.”
Padding the introduction gives Susan the opportunity to ask what kind of boat John has or where the group went. It gives John an opening to discuss his love of writing. Or of cooking. Or of food. The conversation can then naturally expand to travel in general, life on boats, past vacations, favorite recipes, restaurants, budgets, diets, magazines, editorial policy—to infinity.
Technique #17
Never the Naked Introduction
When introducing people, don’t throw out an unbaited hook and stand there grinning like a big clam, leaving the newlymets to flutter their fins and fish for a topic. Bait the conversational hook to get them in the swim of things. Then you’re free to stay or float on to the next networking opportunity.
If you’re not comfortable mentioning someone’s job during the introduction, mention their hobby or even a talent. The other day at a gathering, the hostess introduced a man named Gilbert. She said, “Leil, I’d like you to meet Gilbert. Gilbert’s gift is sculpting. He makes beautiful wax carvings.” I remember thinking, “Gift—now that’s a lovely way to introduce someone and induce conversation.”
Armed with these two personality enhancers, three conversation igniters, and three small extenders, it is time to take a step up the communications ladder. Let us now rise from small talk and seek the path to more meaningful dialogue. The next technique is guaranteed to make the exchange engrossing for your conversation partner.
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