Once I was at a corporate star-studded party with an attractive, recently divorced friend of mine. Carla had been a copywriter with one of the leading advertising agencies which, like so many companies then, had downsized. My girlfriend was both out of work and out of a relationship.
At this particular party, the pickings for Carla were good, both personally and professionally. Several times as Carla and I stood talking, one good-looking corporate male beast or another would find himself within a few feet of us. More often than not, one of these desirable males would flash his teeth at Carla. She sometimes graced the tentatively courting male with a quick smile over her shoulder. But then she’d turn back to our mundane conversation
as though she were hanging on my every word. I knew she was trying not to look anxious, but inside Carla was crying out, “Why doesn’t he come speak to us?”
Right after one prize corporate Big Cat smiled but, because of Carla’s minimal reaction, wandered back into the social jungle, I had to say, “Carla, do you know who that was? He’s the head of the Young & Rubicam in Paris. They’re looking for copywriters willing to relocate. And he’s single!” Carla moaned.
Just then we heard a little voice down by Carla’s left knee. “Hello!” We looked down simultaneously. Little five-year-old Willie, the hostess’s adorable young son, was tugging on Carla’s skirt, obviously craving attention.
“Well, well, well,” Carla cried out, a big smile erupting all over her face. Carla turned toward him. Carla kneeled down, touched little Willie’s elbow, and crooned, “Well, hello there, Willie. How are you enjoying Mommy’s nice party?”
Little Willie beamed.
When little Willie finally trundled off to tug on the garments of the next group of potential attention givers, Carla and I returned to our grown-up conversing. During our chat, corporate beasts continued to stalk Carla with their eyes and she continued casting half smiles at them. She was obviously disappointed none of them was making a further approach. I had to bite my tongue. Finally, when I felt it was going to bleed from the pressure of my teeth, I said, “Carla, have you been noticing that four or five men have come over and smiled at you.”
“Yes,” Carla whispered, her eyes darting nervously around the
room lest anyone overhear us.
“And you’ve been giving them little half smiles,” I continued.
“Yes,” she murmured, now confused at my question.
“Remember when little Willie came up and tugged on your skirt? Do you recall how you smiled that beautiful big smile of yours, turned toward him, and welcomed him into our grown-up conversation?”
“Yee-es,” she answered haltingly.
“Well, I have a request, Carla. I want you to give the next man who smiles at you that same big smile you gave Willie. I want you to turn toward him just like you did then. Maybe even reach out and touch his arm like you did Willie’s, and then welcome him into our conversation.”
“Oh Leil, I couldn’t do that.”
“Carla, do it!” Sure enough, within a few minutes, another attractive man wandered our way and smiled. Carla played her role to perfection. She flashed her beautiful teeth, turned fully toward him, and said, “Hello, come join us.” He wasted no time accepting Carla’s invitation.
After a few moments, I excused myself. Neither noticed my departure because they were in animated conversation. The last glimpse I had of my friend at the party was her floating out the door on the arm of her new friend.
Just then the technique I call “The Big-Baby Pivot” was born. It is a skill that will help you win whatever your heart desires from whatever type of beasts you encounter in the social or corporate jungle.
Technique #5
The Big-Baby Pivot
Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts “I think you are very, very special.”
Remember, buried deep inside everyone is a big baby who is rattling the crib, wailing out for recognition of how very special he or she is.
The following technique reinforces the big baby’s suspicion that he or she is, indeed, the center of the universe.
At this particular party, the pickings for Carla were good, both personally and professionally. Several times as Carla and I stood talking, one good-looking corporate male beast or another would find himself within a few feet of us. More often than not, one of these desirable males would flash his teeth at Carla. She sometimes graced the tentatively courting male with a quick smile over her shoulder. But then she’d turn back to our mundane conversation
as though she were hanging on my every word. I knew she was trying not to look anxious, but inside Carla was crying out, “Why doesn’t he come speak to us?”
Right after one prize corporate Big Cat smiled but, because of Carla’s minimal reaction, wandered back into the social jungle, I had to say, “Carla, do you know who that was? He’s the head of the Young & Rubicam in Paris. They’re looking for copywriters willing to relocate. And he’s single!” Carla moaned.
Just then we heard a little voice down by Carla’s left knee. “Hello!” We looked down simultaneously. Little five-year-old Willie, the hostess’s adorable young son, was tugging on Carla’s skirt, obviously craving attention.
“Well, well, well,” Carla cried out, a big smile erupting all over her face. Carla turned toward him. Carla kneeled down, touched little Willie’s elbow, and crooned, “Well, hello there, Willie. How are you enjoying Mommy’s nice party?”
Little Willie beamed.
When little Willie finally trundled off to tug on the garments of the next group of potential attention givers, Carla and I returned to our grown-up conversing. During our chat, corporate beasts continued to stalk Carla with their eyes and she continued casting half smiles at them. She was obviously disappointed none of them was making a further approach. I had to bite my tongue. Finally, when I felt it was going to bleed from the pressure of my teeth, I said, “Carla, have you been noticing that four or five men have come over and smiled at you.”
“Yes,” Carla whispered, her eyes darting nervously around the
room lest anyone overhear us.
“And you’ve been giving them little half smiles,” I continued.
“Yes,” she murmured, now confused at my question.
“Remember when little Willie came up and tugged on your skirt? Do you recall how you smiled that beautiful big smile of yours, turned toward him, and welcomed him into our grown-up conversation?”
“Yee-es,” she answered haltingly.
“Well, I have a request, Carla. I want you to give the next man who smiles at you that same big smile you gave Willie. I want you to turn toward him just like you did then. Maybe even reach out and touch his arm like you did Willie’s, and then welcome him into our conversation.”
“Oh Leil, I couldn’t do that.”
“Carla, do it!” Sure enough, within a few minutes, another attractive man wandered our way and smiled. Carla played her role to perfection. She flashed her beautiful teeth, turned fully toward him, and said, “Hello, come join us.” He wasted no time accepting Carla’s invitation.
After a few moments, I excused myself. Neither noticed my departure because they were in animated conversation. The last glimpse I had of my friend at the party was her floating out the door on the arm of her new friend.
Just then the technique I call “The Big-Baby Pivot” was born. It is a skill that will help you win whatever your heart desires from whatever type of beasts you encounter in the social or corporate jungle.
Technique #5
The Big-Baby Pivot
Give everyone you meet The Big-Baby Pivot. The instant the two of you are introduced, reward your new acquaintance. Give the warm smile, the total-body turn, and the undivided attention you would give a tiny tyke who crawled up to your feet, turned a precious face up to yours, and beamed a big toothless grin. Pivoting 100 percent toward the new person shouts “I think you are very, very special.”
Remember, buried deep inside everyone is a big baby who is rattling the crib, wailing out for recognition of how very special he or she is.
The following technique reinforces the big baby’s suspicion that he or she is, indeed, the center of the universe.
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