A very wise man with the funny name of Zig9 once told me, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care . . . about them.” Zig Ziglar is right. The secret to making people like you is showing how much you like them!
Your body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station revealing to anyone within eyeshot precisely how you feel at any given moment. Even if your Hang by Your Teeth posture is gaining their respect, your Flooding Smile and The Big-Baby Pivot are making them feel special, and your Sticky Eyes are capturing their hearts and minds, the rest of your body can reveal any incongruence. Every inch—from the crinkle of your forehead to the position of your feet—must give a command performance if you want to effectively present an “I care about you” attitude.
Unfortunately, when meeting someone, our brains are in overdrive. Remember Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar? He said of Cassius, he “has a lean and hungry look . . . he thinks too much . . . such men are dangerous.” So it is with our brains when conversing with a new acquaintance. Our brains become lean. (Some of us are fighting off shyness. Others are frantically sizing up the situation.) And hungry. (We’re deciding what, if anything, we want from this potential relationship.) So we think too much instead of responding with candid, unself-conscious friendliness. Such actions are dangerous to impending friendship, love, or commerce.
When our bodies are shooting off ten thousand bullets of stimuli every second, a few shots are apt to misfire and reveal shyness or hidden hostility. We need a technique to ensure every shot aims right at the heart of our subject. We need to trick our bodies into reacting perfectly.
To find it, let’s explore the only time we don’t need to worry about any shyness or negativity slipping out through our body language. It’s when we feel none. That happens when we’re chatting with close friends. When we see someone we love or feel completely comfortable with, we respond warmly from head to toe without a thought. Our lips part happily. We step closer. Our arms reach out. Our eyes become soft and wide. Even our palms turn up and our bodies turn fully toward our dear friend.
Your body is a twenty-four-hour broadcasting station revealing to anyone within eyeshot precisely how you feel at any given moment. Even if your Hang by Your Teeth posture is gaining their respect, your Flooding Smile and The Big-Baby Pivot are making them feel special, and your Sticky Eyes are capturing their hearts and minds, the rest of your body can reveal any incongruence. Every inch—from the crinkle of your forehead to the position of your feet—must give a command performance if you want to effectively present an “I care about you” attitude.
Unfortunately, when meeting someone, our brains are in overdrive. Remember Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar? He said of Cassius, he “has a lean and hungry look . . . he thinks too much . . . such men are dangerous.” So it is with our brains when conversing with a new acquaintance. Our brains become lean. (Some of us are fighting off shyness. Others are frantically sizing up the situation.) And hungry. (We’re deciding what, if anything, we want from this potential relationship.) So we think too much instead of responding with candid, unself-conscious friendliness. Such actions are dangerous to impending friendship, love, or commerce.
When our bodies are shooting off ten thousand bullets of stimuli every second, a few shots are apt to misfire and reveal shyness or hidden hostility. We need a technique to ensure every shot aims right at the heart of our subject. We need to trick our bodies into reacting perfectly.
To find it, let’s explore the only time we don’t need to worry about any shyness or negativity slipping out through our body language. It’s when we feel none. That happens when we’re chatting with close friends. When we see someone we love or feel completely comfortable with, we respond warmly from head to toe without a thought. Our lips part happily. We step closer. Our arms reach out. Our eyes become soft and wide. Even our palms turn up and our bodies turn fully toward our dear friend.
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