A Word of Warning (technique No 31)

No matter how good your material is, it bombs if it doesn’t fit the situation. I learned this the hard way during my cruise ship days. On a cruise to England I decided to give my passengers a reading of the English love poems of Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning. You know, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” It was a BIG hit. The passengers loved it and raved for days. I couldn’t walk out on deck without some passenger turning to me and affectionately echoing, “How do I love thee?”

Technique #31

Use Jawsmith’s Jive

Whether you’re standing behind a podium facing thousands or behind the barbecue grill facing yourfamily, you’ll move, amuse, and motivate with the same skills.


Read speakers’ books to cull quotations, pull pearls of wisdom, and get gems to tickle their funny bones. Find a few bon mots to let casually slide off your tongue on chosen occasions. If you want to be notable, dream up a crazy quotable.

Make ’em rhyme, make ’em clever, or make ’emfunny. Above all, make ’em relevant.

Naturally I got a pretty swollen head over this performance and fancied myself an eminent poetry reader. I decided to reward the passengers on the next cruise (which was a cruise to the Caribbean and didn’t go anywhere in the neighborhood of England) with my spectacular reading of the English love poems. WHAT A BOMB! Passengers avoided me on the deck for the rest of the cruise. “How did you bore me? Let me count the ways.”